I had a conversation with my mom quite a while back about how I wanted to live my life, the things I wanted to do and accomplish, and how I wanted to love and be loved. I can’t remember the exact context of the conversation or what brought this topic up in the first place. (That happens a lot with us; our conversations are a large combination of zigzags, swirls, and circles most likely with a triangle thrown in somewhere that oddly connects at its points). But what I do remember is that she told me she remembered thinking along very similar lines at the same age and how naïve it seemed now. She said this not realizing that I had thought through, at length, everything I’d told her and had a specific reason for every single one of them and why they were important to me. (Or maybe she did and was just trying to draw them out of me. She has a way of doing that.)

After explaining those reasons I concluded with this, “I’m not lost. I’m not being naïve. I’m walking into my adult life with my eyes wide open, knowing that I’m going to get knocked down and my heart broken at times. I’m also ready and willing to risk that. My heart is open, but so are my eyes.”

She responded by giving me this look – serious, perhaps somewhat stunned – and said, “Write that down. Right now.” I did.

Now, here I am months down the road sharing it with all of you because I think it was an important moment in my life and maybe it will mean something to you, too. It was the moment I really realized that I was ready to make some moves in my life to open myself up. To people, to opportunities, to risk. Risk was a big one for me. I’m a cautious person, whether by nature or taught by experience I’m not sure. Maybe it’s both. Either way, it acts as an umbrella for my openness to people and opportunities because those are risks in themselves. They’re gambles. They put me on a path that could lead to heartbreak or failure. I don’t know about you but I don’t like either one of those things. I do a lot of things to ensure I don’t fail – at anything, ever – and if I can avoid heartbreak, well, that’s all the better. So my willingness to open myself up to all of these things was a big deal for me.

What I had finally come to terms with, though, was that I was also opening myself up to a wealth of positive experiences. New lessons. New people. Love. Friendship. Success. These far outweigh the negative. No matter what life has thrown at me in the way of negative experiences, no matter how hurt I’ve been, out of them came some of my most meaningful relationships, my most valuable lessons learned, and my most profound epiphanies to date. Not only that, but in the times after the ceiling appeared to have just caved in on me…and I lived through it, I risked more, put myself out there in bigger ways than every before, and received more in turn. It was in these moments that I threw myself out of my comfort zone that I reaped such greater benefits than the times I played it safe.

The difference now is that I do so with more intent, more purpose, and more gusto than in the “I have nothing to lose so I might as well” moments of the past. That is why I say I’m not doing it out of naïveté, that my eyes are open. Because I know. I know someone or something is going to knock me down. I know someone is going to break my heart. I know because, while I may be young, I’ve been knocked down and I’ve had my heart broken. But does that mean it isn’t worth the risk?

Absolutely not.