As my birthday approached, I did a lot of late-night thinking rather than sleeping. Of course, those midnight contemplations were mostly due to the tiny human who was waking up every night around 2 o’clock to nurse.

Either way, it gave me a good amount of time to take stock of my life. There have been a few seismic shifts recently, and this sort of introspection always seems necessary for me to process and move forward.

I felt – and still feel – a rising sense of urgency to get my act together.

Am I putting enough money away in savings, my 401k, and my investment accounts?

Should I pay off my car or trade it in for something new with warranty to better fit car seats and our budget?

Should we sell our house and move? Where would we even want to live? What areas have the best schools? Could we find an even more budget-friendly house and still have the things we want and need in a home?

How can I write more, make more money, and contribute more to our household? How can I do all of this and be the kind of woman, mama, and wife I want and strive to be?

The list of questions went (okay, goes) on and on as I tried to figure out at least some of these things in order to put my family and myself in a better position now and in the future.

My twenties were a decade of heartbreak, fun, growth, fresh starts, new opportunities, self-improvement, and self-discovery. I met some of my very best friends, learned a lot about life, love, and myself. I traveled, met the man who became my husband, changed jobs, moved, got married, and had my first baby.

There were bumps along the way that often felt like roadblocks. They forced me to turn corners and take a few detours I never anticipated; yet they eventually brought me to a better place. Come to find out, turning a corner (or two or three) in the “wrong” direction only to find more of the unexpected actually led me to the life I’d always dreamed of and made it all worth it.

Of course, hindsight is 20/20.

Now I find myself – ten years later – married with a baby, a dog, and a house, living in the city I’d always wanted. I’m dreaming more, bigger, deeper.

Is my life perfect? Hardly. I’m worrying over a whole new set of issues.

Am I truly lucky and blessed to have the life I have? Absolutely. I’m working extremely hard to remember that every day.

Do I still grieve (and maybe even throw myself a pity party) when something doesn’t turn out the way I had always planned, hoped, and dreamed? You bet your sweet little tooshie.

However, I don’t grieve the end of my twenties. I am looking forward to what the next ten years have in store for me and for my family. No doubt, it will be a decade of immense growth and change that will leave me staggered by how different my life looks from what it is today.

But today? Today I find myself saying, “So this is thirty” and taking a look at what that means.

It’s smiles and snuggles first thing in the morning.

It’s a topknot, a cozy robe, and jammies that I realized were backwards and inside out only after I took the picture. Then I laughed and thought, “Whoops! Oh well. That just about sums my life up in one picture,” and started mentally drafting this post.

It’s asking for a nap for my birthday and truly wanting it more than anything else.

It’s career moves and all kinds of hustling.

It’s trying to find a work-life balance – whatever that means.

It’s knowing I’m a kid only at heart.

It’s a lot of things; but if nothing else, it is the beginning of a new stage of life.

I am looking out at the next ten years and can only imagine the joys and heartaches they will bring. I can also only hope and pray that the joy far outweighs the pain.

Bring it on, 30. Let’s see what you and your 9 other friends have in store for me.