Holidays

Holidays + Unemployment = A Difficult Season on Many Levels

Posted on by Kaylin Stravalli

With stats like the ones the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics reported on November 6, 2020, for nonfarm employment rates, the holidays are going to be a difficult, even traumatizing time for a lot of people.

The unemployment rate was 6.9% in October (down 1 percentage point from September), which equals about 11.1 million people without jobs. Of those…

  • 3.2 million were on temporary layoff vs. 18.1 million at the height of the pandemic in April.
  • 3.7 million permanently lost their jobs.
  • 3.6 million were considered long-term unemployed, which means they have been jobless for 27+ weeks this year.

In the four weeks prior to this report, 15.1 million people were unable to work due to lost or closed businesses. Some have since found or will find employment within their industry or use transferrable skills that will keep their bank accounts in the black. Others will have to keep searching and waiting.

Of those still working, 21.2% teleworked from wherever they were sheltering in place or from home.

One or multiple of these employment scenarios are likely to be found within the same household. One partner, parent, or roommate may be gainfully employed (at limited or full-time hours) while the other is forced to stay home because COVID-19 effectively shut down their industry and eliminated the possibility of a paycheck.

This pandemic came out of nowhere and turned the whole world on its ear. People are losing jobs, losing businesses, losing their livelihoods – at no fault of their own. Knowing this, however, will not make it any easier. They will still go through the stages of grief and shame that come with feeling like you let down the people who depend on you.

It is crushing, especially as the holidays approach.

Thanksgiving? Christmas? Hanukkah? No matter the holidays you celebrate as the year comes to a close, if you don’t have a job and feel like you can’t celebrate in the way you always have, it can mess with your head. It can make you feel like the biggest disappointment or a failure for not being able to provide for yourself or your family in the way you always have.

Note: Most of the things running through your head along those lines are not true. So when they pop into your mind, repeat these words from Kelly Clarkson to yourself again and again until it finally sinks in (and it will probably take a while): That is a lie from Satan’s mouth.

You are all trying to figure out how to make ends meet, let alone celebrate the holidays and keep as many family traditions alive as possible. You’re sweating how you will give your family, partner, kids, or friends a holiday experience that won’t be wrought with stress and anxiety – masking your own feelings as you do; and that is mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining. Because, let’s face it…

The holidays + flu season + the uptick of Covid cases + joblessness = Anxietyville population, 11.1 million.

And trust me, friends, I feel you. I know. I did it last year. I’m doing it this year.

I got downsized the week before Thanksgiving 2019. It meant no job and no insurance in the middle of flu season with a new baby, bills to pay, the soul crushing knowledge that on some level I had put us in this position by working there in the first place, and the entire holiday season ahead of me. Then things just kept happening. It felt like one trauma after another hit, and each was worse and more devastating than the last.

I don’t say this to invite you to join a pity party but to make those of you in the thick of this shit storm feel seen and heard. I am right there with you, braving the storm. Trust that as I have worked and powered through this year, I have not for one second forgotten how crushing the loss of a job can be – especially when you never saw it coming.

I have been living by the following notions and repeating them to myself like mantras for the past year or so as I try to remind myself that it will all be okay. Feel free to borrow them to get you through the holidays … or the days ahead that will feel just a little too hard.

  • Give yourself some grace. No one could have foreseen these circumstances. It was not your fault, so give yourself a break, work with what you’ve got, and hustle for the rest.
  • If I make things happy and fun, she will be happy and have fun.
  • Little things go a long way with little people. A Wednesday morning spent making pancakes and vacuuming is my toddler’s favorite way to start the day. Seriously, the kid loves the vacuum.
  • Give gifts from the heart rather than the store. What can I do, make, write, bake, or create that will make this person feel just as loved and cared for as they are?
  • Get creative. Make a coupon book for free but fun adventures. I gave my husband a coupon for Father’s Day that was good for a weekend fishing/camping trip. My daughter and I did some arts and crafts to make it, so it was a win all around. She had fun. It was tailored to his hobbies, and he gets a guilt-free getaway to do something that brings him peace and joy. He was pumped.
  • Think outside of the box. What do I have that someone else may need, and could we sell or trade it? (Thank you, Facebook Marketplace.)
  • This is temporary. This too shall pass. This pandemic will end. You will find work again. Things will get better.

And if all else fails… remember this:

You've Survived 100% of Your Worst Days So Far, Keep Going.

Photo Credit: Think Pozitiv

You will survive. You will learn and grow and be stronger for having lived through such a hard thing. You will have busted your butt to make ends meet and to make sure the people in your home are happy and healthy. Best of all, in the midst of chaos, you will have created a positive environment, strong coping mechanisms, and happy memories that will serve you, your family, and your friends in the long run.

So I’ll say it one more time in case you need to hear it again: Give yourself some grace and some time. Things will get better. Until then, know you are not alone. There are at least 11.1 million people in the U.S., plus one (that’s me) who understand your struggle. We’re all right here with you.

 

My How Far We’ve Come: Perspective from a New Year

Posted on by Kaylin Stravalli

Over the holidays, I had the chance to catch up with one of my best friends. She is living abroad for a year for her job and is traveling as much of the world as she possibly can. It’s a dream come true for her – quite literally. She has been dreaming about and working toward this opportunity for several years.

It finally paid off.

Now, that is not to say there weren’t a few bumps in the road or obstacles that needed maneuvering. There were several. As someone who was along for the ride through all the ups and downs, twists and turns, I feel uniquely equipped to remark on just how far she has come in a year.

Of course, if you’re anything like me, this time of year typically involves a certain amount of retrospection as well as introspection. I take stock of the goals and resolutions I had set for the year and assess how many I actually achieved. I had just done a bit of this inventory when I met up with her. Like me, she is one to look back and take stock of the changes each year brings.

We ate at one of our favorite restaurants one night with another of our closest friends and caught up on all the latest news since the last time we’d all been together. We talked about her work and her travels. We talked about the differences (big and small) of living in a foreign place, where the language, food, culture, and customs are just that – foreign. Then we each went in different directions until we can be together again.

I went home and kept thinking over the next couple days about all the things we discussed going on in each of our lives. Between the three of us, there had been changes in work, travel, relationships, marriage, relocation, and the thought of kids.

Then, it occurred to me just how much had changed in 365 days, how much we had changed. While we could only steal a few hours here and there, the difference was evident, and I told her so.

My how far we’ve come. It seemed what we gained most from the past 365 days of experiences was…perspective.

As we like to remind each other, “The Man has a Plan, and He knows what He’s doing.” And He does. While it may not always be clear to us or easy to trust and put all of our hopes, dreams, and faith in, what we gain in the end is the perspective we need to see just how far we’ve come. If we’re lucky, we find ourselves in a better place, and we see exactly how and why we arrived when we did rather than when we thought we should.

All the hell we had been through to get here (whether in the past year or many years) makes much more sense to us now. It was all preparation to guarantee we were truly ready, in every way, for the things ahead. That process ensured we truly appreciate, enjoy, and savor them in a way we couldn’t have had we not gone through a bit of hell to get there.

It may have seemed chaotic at the time, but looking back, we can see how every bump in the road or obstacle that made us change course acted as a stepping stone on the path toward reaching our goals and dreams  – or at least brought us much closer to them. All those obstacles we maneuvered had led us here. Thankfully, “here” is a good, perhaps even better place than we’d originally been trying to reach. The road may have been long and winding, but we got there all right.

So as we start this New Year, we do so “looking down from 30,000 feet” and realize “life’s been good to me.”