I happened upon this blog post, 10 Old-Fashioned Dating Habits We Should Bring Back. Read it. Loved it. Could not agree more. I liked it so much, I couldn’t help but pass it along to a girl friend as well as two guy friends we regularly hang out with and talk to. I routinely send these boys articles and unsolicited advice on dating, manners, and anything else I feel they could benefit from knowing or putting into their repertoire of habits and skills for the benefit of any girl they date and especially their future wives. (I call them boys because I have known them forever and despite the fact that I know they are technically young men, they and the rest of the young men we are friends with will forever be affectionately referred to as “The Boys” or “The Guys.”)

My girl friend’s response was, “Men need to get that carved into stone and have a copy as their guide to dating.”

One of the boys said, “Well I don’t know about you, but if a girl ever showed up at my door with flowers, I would be the happiest boy ever.” Of course, he’s pretending to not get the whole point of the article, but he has a point. Roles can be reversed and some men will like it, some will not. Same goes for women.

However, for those of us womenfolk who have received countless “I’m here” texts as we (try to) run out the door with our parents yelling after us, “Make that boy come to the door!” (And those boys came to my door whether they sent a text or not – Ielase House Rules). Who have been asked to hang out and been forced to decode the meaning of what “hanging out” actually means. Is it a date? Are we a couple? Are we “talking” (which by the way is the lamest terminology)? Is it just the two of us or is it a group? What do I wear to hang out! Or been with someone who is constantly on their phone, which ensues its own list of nasty questions like “Um…who are you talking to? Am I boring you? Do you even like me or are you making plans to go see the girl you really like as soon as you leave here?”

In short, it’s confusing; it’s bullshit; it’s annoying; and it simultaneously takes too little and too much effort to keep up with, mentally and emotionally. Emotionally? What? Just kidding, we don’t have feelings…except we do! Oh, and that wonderful assumption that sex is to be had. Soon. Like yesterday. As soon as you show the remotest interest. Sorry, not the case. Perhaps we’ve been there. Perhaps that is how we knew someone was even interested in us in the first place.

What is wrong with us!

Can we not show a little vulnerability? Can we not act like civilized human beings and communicate? We have all this technology to keep us connected. We are constantly talking to people through various mediums and yet…. we aren’t saying anything! We aren’t truly communicating because there are little acronyms like, “DTF” floating around the ether from one willing, able-bodied person to the next. And some people expect a meaningful relationship to come from this? Not likely.

I’m sorry, call me old-fashioned, but I think those 10 dating habits Kate Bailey proposes we bring back sound wonderful. To actually be asked on a real date by a man, who shows up looking like he made an effort to shower and smell nice (wardrobe is dependent on the activity; he could take me to paint ball or to an amusement park or to a concert), continues to be present on the date with me for its entirety, and, dare I say, open a door or two? I would have to consider him the best date I ever had (which is not a long list or hard to beat; he can thank the guys before him for setting the bar low).

I have spent years swimming in the sea of modern “dating,” which has very little resembling romance, and I can honestly say, “I’m over it.” It was fun at times but more often than not I was wishing for…more. I wanted someone who cared; who made an effort; who put themselves out there, even if it didn’t work out or they felt foolish; who was willing to admit to his friends he was going to spend time with me and liked me; who invited me into his life; who was passionate and affectionate; who was spontaneous and adventurous and treated me like a lady. I wanted basic human respect but more I wanted a little romance, even just a taste every now and then. I longed and long again for the old-fashioned (read: well-mannered, if you will) way of things.

I want someone to show genuine interest in me, so that I may do the same in return. Don’t think that I won’t or don’t give as good as I get; I’m the kind of girl that if you give a little, you’re going to get that and so much more. It’s just the way I’m built. I want someone to be vulnerable with, not just someone to be vulnerable so I hold all the power. I want someone I can date to find out if I want to marry him later. I’ve had enough of the games, enough of the confusion. It’s time to start treating each other as if we matter, as people for however long it lasts – one date, one month, one year, one lifetime.

What I’m saying is: bring those old-fashioned dating habits back. Bring ’em back! I know I’m not the only one who thinks this is a good much needed common practice to be reinstated. Can I get an amen?