Time vs. Money: Making the Hard Choice
For months, I have been thinking about the concept of time versus money. I have been trying to wrap my mind around it. Which is more important? Which do I value more? What can I afford? How can I justify my choice, and should I even have to?
I wish I could say it had been easy to figure out, but it wasn’t.
If you have read my last few posts, you know that within the past year I have had my first baby, turned 30, and reflected on where I thought I’d be in my life by now. What you may not know is that shortly after those first two events, I returned to work to find my position had been eliminated.
Because of each of these events, I spent a lot of sleepless nights thinking. I took stock of what matters most to me, what I value, what I stand for, and what I could do that would allow me to stay true to those things – and to myself – while still doing what needed to be done.
Let me tell you, the struggle. was. real.
When I found a new job, I also found myself faced with the choice between time and money. I knew in my heart and soul what I wanted and needed. I always knew what I valued and what mattered most to me. Yet, I had to wage war with myself to make the choice.
In short, I had to be able to live with myself. I had to choose the path that would honor the person I need to be and the life I need to live.
Those questions I asked myself before? They were never really the questions that needed answering. They were merely exercises in the mental gymnastics I needed to do to lead me to the real questions: How do I justify my decision? And how do I make it work?
I wasn’t struggling between the desire for money or status or a fancy job. I was struggling because I had to justify my decision to my head and – I felt – to other people.
Should you find yourself in a similar situation, you should know:
- Looking within you to find to the answers to those questions is not easy.
- Justifying those answers to yourself, to your partner, to your potential employer, and to your bank account is even harder.
- You will struggle.
- You will be judged.
- You will pray for things you never imagined needing.
- You will cry – a lot.
At least, that’s how it worked for me.
In the end, though, if you do the soul-searching work, you will find the answers you need.
Ultimately, I chose time. And the choice came down to this:
More time with my daughter is something that I can never get back.
That mental gymnastics I performed helped me come to my final decision. It helped me find peace; and it gave me the freedom (if only from myself and my urge to never disappoint the people in my life) to make that decision without constantly second-guessing myself once I had.
As for other people…I know I sacrificed money and some other things that they may find foolish or silly for just one more day a week at home, but that’s okay.
They don’t have to get it.
They aren’t living my life. They have their own choices to make, and I won’t always understand those either. And that’s okay, too.
Because if there’s a choice between time and money? For me, there is no choice.
Time wins – every time.
I will always remember the things I got to do with my daughter and how much I got to watch her grow and develop into the sweet, funny, joyful person she’s becoming.
I will always be grateful for the opportunity to take this time and make these memories with her.
I will always be thankful for the support I have received from those who love me.
You see, I will hustle, and I will sacrifice. I will do everything in my power to make it work because I will never regret taking this time.
That extra day a week at home has made a huge difference in my happiness. It has allowed me to find some balance in my responsibilities, my life, and myself. It has given me time to clean my house! It has taught me how to savor moments of joy and hold onto them through the hard times and challenges. It has made me a better version of myself. And for all of that, I am immensely grateful.
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