Checks and Balances

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If there is one thing I’ve come to firmly believe – more and more everyday – over the past few years, it is that people are put into our lives for a reason. There is a system of checks and balances put in place by the powers that be (God, fate, destiny, what have you). Some of it might be random, some of it might be by design (not ours, of course), but however it happens, it happens for a reason.

For instance, say our grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, or friends…well, suck. Check. The balance is that in some other area of our lives we will find someone who fills that void. It may come in the form of a mentor, a teacher, a coach, a friend, a college roommate, a colleague, or a mix match of family members and friends who fill roles they weren’t born into.

This is one of the beauties of life. In one aspect, maybe more, we may be lacking. Yet, in another, maybe many others, we are blessed beyond our wildest imaginings with people who love and support and care and defend us to the nth degree. These are the people I call my family. Whether we are related by blood or by respect and affection, family is what they are.

In this sense, I believe the old saying “You can’t choose your family” gets thrown right out the window and proves the exact opposite. We can choose our “family” and they can choose us in return. It’s all a part of the system of checks and balances – what we lack, we find elsewhere and we hold onto it as dearly and as long as we can and are meant to. Of course people are going to come in and out of our lives, what matters are the things we learn from them and the place they filled in our lives, for whatever purpose and whatever length of time.

2 comments

  1. Arlis DeJaynes's avatar
    Arlis DeJaynes · March 23, 2014

    So very, very true. When I was growing up, my dad was such a hard, even violent man, and my mother was distant, largely because of my dad. But my brothers and sisters and my friends at school more than made up for the lack of nurturing, and they became my lifeline for caring, learning, growing, and living with gentleness. I give thanks for the people who helped shape my life when I was young so that I could be relatively normal, despite my dad’s oppressive attitudes.

    • Kaylin Stravalli's avatar
      kielase · March 24, 2014

      I couldn’t agree more. This seems to be one of life’s universals. Everyone can relate in some way because everyone has the person or people in his/her life who let them down just as they have that person or people who lifted them up when they needed it most! I’m so thankful for both of these groups actually. They both have valuable lessons they teach/have taught us, although, the latter group is much easier to see and appreciate than the former!

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